Every relationship has its peaks and valleys.
When you first meet someone, there’s the spark of attraction, the thrill of the unknown, the agonizing question as to whether or not he’ll call you. You dissect every conversation, every minute gesture, every expression.
And you hope. You hope he likes you. You hope he calls. You hope that he’s The One. And when it turns out he does…
Your relationship blasts towards a peak so quickly it leaves you breathless and dizzy and exhilarated. You cling to your partner, giddy with joy. You join together, adjusting to another person sharing your space and possessions.
Then the world settles and soon, instead of that dizzy feeling, you feel solid. Instead of breathless, you feel stable. Instead of unsure, you feel steady.
The earth spins, days turn to weeks, months and years. The day comes that the two of you create other people from your love.
And you become dizzy, but instead of exhilaration, you feel fear. You become breathless, but instead of excitement, you feel tired. You pass each other like ghosts, each one working tirelessly towards taking care of the little lives that suddenly inhabit your space and destroy your possessions.
One day, you look at your partner and realize that he’s not the person you married. You look in the mirror and no longer see the girl with whom he fell in love. You’ve both changed. Words have been said, fights have been fought, feelings have been hurt.
Yet…that spark, that initial spark, lingers.
You both recognize that you are in a valley. You talk. You share. You feel frustration, anger, sadness and then, again…
Hope. You hope that he is changing with you. You hope that he’ll work with you. You hope that the initial spark is enough.
He brings you flowers and you smile foolishly.
You rub his shoulders and he sighs thankfully.
He cooks you breakfast and you hug him tightly.
You compliment his laundry skills.
He compliments your new haircut.
You say thank you.
He says please.
You see the person he’s become and you’re happy.
He sees the person you’ve become and he’s joyful.
You look at each other and recognize a partner, a friend, a lover.
And you smile.
You smile and realize that as your relationship evolves and twists and turns, you will be fine. Because that guy? That guy you fell so hard for? That guy who is standing next to you?
He’s stubborn as a mule. He refuses to give up. He refuses to let go. He refuses to concede defeat. You realize that instead of resenting, you love that stubborness. And really…
You’re no better.
Mandy Dawson is a wife and mother of two living in California. She’s the creator of Mandyland where she blogs about kids, crafting, gardening and the stubborn man she married. You can connect with her on her blog and on twitter.