Are Coed Sleepovers a Bad Idea?
My daughter spent the night at a boy’s house a few weeks ago. Yes, I allowed her to have a coed sleepover. Shocking I know!
But before you’re appalled, you have to understand what a catch this boy is…
- Big blue eyes.
- Gorgeous curly hair.
- Great smile.
- Fun personality.
- Good sense of humor and very polite.
- Always treats her well.
Alright, before I get tarred and feathered, I guess I should confess that the children in question are only 5. Clearly it is innocent and platonic.
But does that make it ok for them to have a coed sleepover? I have to confess I’m feeling a little funny about it.
Coed Sleepovers Between Friends
CJ and Mikey (not his real name) are so cute to watch as they play together or as they
shout talk to each other over our fence. He’s our backyard neighbor and the exact same age as CJ. They get along so well we have discussed putting a gate in the fence to make it easier for them to play without having to walk around the block.
I like this kid. I like his parents. I like how he and Chloe play together.
So, what’s the problem? Why do I have this lingering doubt?
As much as I hate to admit it, there is a
very, very small part of me that is worried about what other people will think. Regardless of how young, how innocent, how perfectly fine it was for these two to have a sleepover, I know that some of you won’t be ok with it.
I guess I’m afraid of the whispered “What kind of Mom let’s their kid have a coed sleepover?”
Even if the question is never voiced, I worry about whether I’m a good Mom. And of course anything remotely questionable brings those fears bubbling to the top.
But I am not the kind of person that worries for very long about what others think, so this fear isn’t really a huge concern. What does concern me is when I won’t think it’s ok.
When is that line drawn?
When is a Coed Sleepover a Bad Idea?
I look at my 9 year old son and would have to think long and hard if he asked to spend the night at a girl’s house. I’m sure at 9 it would still be innocent and platonic, but 9 is a whole lot more uncomfortable for me than 5. And by 12? Definitely not.
And here’s the twist…
What about siblings & coed sleepovers?
I say definitely not, but my son and daughter have both spent the night at their friends’ houses (siblings) more than once. It works out really well because my son is their son’s guest and my daughter is their daughter’s guest. Seems perfectly fine, right?
But is that really so different than a coed sleepover? It is ultimately two boys and two girls spending the night together.
And I have a few memories of sleepovers at my friends’ houses when I was in high school. Friends with older brothers. Older, good-looking, brothers… Ahem. I really hope my parents aren’t reading…
When my kids are older I’ll definitely be questioning not just who they want to stay with, but the sibling situation too. And maybe when the girls have a friend over, brother will have to stay at a friend’s or something. We’re not there yet, but my point is that there is definitely an age when it has the potential to become less innocent.
But, I don’t think we’re there yet. We will be someday though. When? When is that magic age?
What do you think?
Would you let your daughter have a sleepover with a boy? If so, is there an age when it is no longer ok?
Leave a comment please!
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